We came back to Krakow, got drunk on vodka, fell asleep, woke up and discovered we had covered each other’s forearms with tattoos and prison numbers – in ballpoint pen. Later we got drunk on more vodka as we discussed war and history, and made love. Krakow was just a haze.
Poland has always had that effect, on me anyway. Its overwhelming maudlinness, its frequent ugliness and let’s face it excellent social lubricants – and, these days, a patched up heart - always brings out the same reaction, and earlier I wrote a piece of spirited free association, immediately after a week-
long study visit to Poland with other journalists last week, paid for by the foreign ministry.The reason for the ministry's exercise in public diplomacy is that
Poland, which comes bottom in many EU social and scientific indicators, and has a bit of a problem in Brussels with its conservative leadership, is clearly trying to promote itself as a modern, youthful, vibrant society and economy. We were asked to write a short piece on what we think of Poland as a new member of the EU. I think Poland's membership is great, but my opinion is irrelevant. More profitable is to answer the question: what does the rest of Europe think of Poland as an EU member - and how can Poland make itself more popular and successful.
I have before me a document from the Rzeszow investment agency, which informs me that the university of Rzeszow has twenty-thousand students and there “more and more graduates every year”. Heineken, we are told, has invested here, and labour costs are a fifth of what they are in the UK. Rszeszow is a partner city of Klagenfurt. Every tenth IT specialist in Poland graduated from the city.
I read this yadda, yadda at home, given to me after an investment seminar in that city on Monday– and I find my mind alas drifting back, to misty autumn streets in the old town of Krakow, holding the hands of a tragic Polish girl in tight skirt, black tights and a masters degree in philosophy, who told me all about Sobibor, Treblinka, Auschwitz, the Warsaw uprising – and Czeslaw Milosz. Statistics about how Rszeszow region is the trade cross-roads for south eastern region of Europe do not tether me to the here and now, I am afraid. So now to the essence of this article.
Why is this? Why is the tragedy of Polish history much more interesting than the groovy new Poland of the EU future that the foreign ministry wants to promote. Is it only me, and my personal history, or would others have the same perception? If the latter is the case, I think the foreign ministry should take stock.
I think the latter is the case. Not all investors or tourists care about history of course, but that is the wrong approach: there are many would be investors who do know about Polish history who could be persuaded to come if that knowledge is linked with the hard facts about investment opportunities. The sorrow and the pity could make a difference between a French firm buying into Malaysia or buying into Poland.
This campaign has to be managed carefully, so as not to put off those not interested in history at all, and perhaps to hold back the innate tendency of Poles to be off-puttingly gloomy and or a bit arrogant about their past when allowed to be themselves. Last week I met Poles who were cravenly lost in a transatlantic businessman's identity; but I suspect there are strong countervailing, pompous nationalist forces in today's Poland of the Kaczynskis that will act backwardly on the collective personality.
May I propose some slogans which, while they might not be used - should not be used - are markers for the new identity not in what they say but the manner in which they deal with Poland's property: its past, That is, mocking, sardonic and subversive, sending up native tendencies and showing rather than just stating that Poland is a modern country, since mockery is the pre-eminent modern idiom.
Holocaust
So: the current investment and tourism slogan is “the heart of Europe”, a cliché if there ever was one, and not even unique, since about half a dozen other countries lay claim to the same thing. It's accompanied by a cute heart that reminds me of some nice girl with a ponytail presenting some investment campaign or other but doesn't really communicate much.
How about something invoking the holocaust; it is a huge taboo at the moment, and the British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, with his alter ego Borat the Kazakh reporter, is becoming a cult figure in the US for his film, where he travels around the country making faux-naif jokes about Jews which people take at face value. The film gets five star reviews in the US and British media, and liberals everywhere love its sophistication, because the joke is on the anti-semites.
So - on the mockery theme - where Australia has “where the hell are you, mate” as its campaign which is very successful. Poland could have something like “People used to come here to work for free”; or “Millions came and never left”, which echoes yet subverts a whole history of serious investment/ corporate recruitment slogans.
Okay, so maybe not. But you get the gist. Moving on to a less controversial subject a picture of the Mazurian lakes in autumn, emphasising the emptiness. "They have all gone to work in England." Or, a picture of a bottle of expensive bottle of vodka and the words "Rarer than a successful cavalry charge."
My time is up. Polish history packs a wallop, if managed and mediated rightly.
ENDS
